The Saddest Song

On Alice in Chains' "Nutshell"

Alice in Chains performing in Leeds, UK, 2018

A few weeks ago, Chelsea’s grandfather passed away. We spent last weekend in New Jersey, visiting with her family and attending his burial and celebration of life. Chelsea’s grandpa was a good man, and it was moving to see the love and respect that the extended family showed for him as they said goodbye.

It felt like a good and meaningful trip, but after red-eye flights in and out of Newark and dealing with the ubiquitous delays at SFO, I started this week feeling pretty tired.

I haven’t quite had the energy to research and write a longer post for this Substack. But I wanted to share something that resonated with me this week:

I’ve been revisiting classic metal albums, and spending a lot of time browsing Reddit and other forums looking for recommendations. In the process, I came across a thread asking “What’s the saddest song you know?”

By far, the response with the most upvotes was “Nutshell” by Alice in Chains.

Somehow, I’d never heard the song before, so I queued it up on Spotify and listened while I made myself a cup of tea. And I instantly felt so melancholy that even my dog looked at me like he was worried about my mental health.

You might think this sounds like a terrible experience, but it wasn’t. As a certified goth dad, I actually really enjoy listening to sad music. And as a therapist, I would hasten to point out that listening to sad music can help with emotion regulation and developing empathy.

Among the “Seattle sound” bands of the 90s, Alice in Chains was unique in that its roots were in metal, more so than punk. The band also has a pretty tragic story, including singer Layne Staley’s death by overdose.

“Nutshell” stands out to me because of its beautiful, melancholy chord progression and simple, yet tragic lyrics:

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight, and yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find, and yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead

Simple as they are, I feel like these lyrics express something of the individual struggle for authenticity in a modern world where our privacy and sense of self is continually compromised by forces like screen addiction, social media, 24 hour news cycles, and AI fakery.

If you like a sad song now and then, I invite you to step back to a simpler time and place (the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Majestic Theatre, 1996) and watch Alice in Chains perform “Nutshell” for MTV Unplugged:

That’s all for this week. As always, thanks for reading Mind, Meaning, and Magic.

—Chris