Slow Holidays: A Mindful Approach to the Season

Photo by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash

I wake before dawn, switch on the heater and a strand of Christmas lights in the living room before settling onto the couch for my morning meditation. By the time I’m finished, I can open the blinds and see the first glow of daylight filling the street outside. I set the tea kettle on the stove to boil and sit down at my laptop to write.

As the days grow shorter and we close in on the winter solstice, I’m feeling the urge to slow way down.

Yes, I’m still working full time in my practice, finishing my Christmas shopping, and wrapping up some year-end financial tasks. But as 2023 winds down to a close, my nerves feel a little frayed. In my rush to solve problems and accomplish goals before year’s end, I realize I’ve been running on caffeine and adrenaline.

This year has gone by so fast.

I want to enjoy this time, to savor it. And in order to do that, I need to slow my roll. To re-focus on my meditation and mindfulness practices, my family and close friends, and on gratitude for all that we have. Especially at a time when there is so much suffering and grief in the world, I want to appreciate the small joys of an ordinary life.

Way back in 2011, I wrote a piece that I called the Slow Holidays Manifesto and posted it on my Facebook wall, to an enthusiastic response. At the time, my writing was inspired by the Slow Food and Slow Money movements and reacting to factors like the global financial crisis of 2008 and the rise of social media (I was also a 27 year old grad student). There are, perhaps, a few lines in this manifesto that I would quibble with today, but for the most part, I still stand by these principles.

Today, I’m sharing the Manifesto here (in its slightly updated 2015 version) in hopes that it will prove helpful to you in some way as we head into the busiest part of the season.

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The Slow Holidays Manifesto

Inspired by the Slow Food and Slow Money movements, Slow Holidays is a campaign to promote local, sustainable economies and nurture happiness and authentic relationship this holiday season. We all have the power to choose where our time, money, and energy go this winter, as well as how we relate to ourselves and others.

Here are some ways you can benefit your family, your community, your wallet, and the world:

1. Spend less. What matters this season is expressing your love, appreciation, and gratitude for your family and friends. Sometimes, a simple, thoughtful card does that better than a big-screen TV from Best Buy. Consider participating in Buy Nothing Day (formerly known as Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving) as a way of saying no to mindless consumerism and reminding yourself that if you’re reading this, you probably already have what you really need. Just remember to make sure you have enough leftovers to sustain you through the day!

2. Buy locally. This holiday season, consider investing your hard-earned dollars in your local economy. This promotes wealth and prosperity for your entire community: buying from a locally-owned business generates 3.5 times more wealth for your local economy than buying from a chain business. Consider supporting local farmers, craftspeople, and artists, as well as other locally-owned businesses. Personally, I come from a family of readers, and I love buying books for my friends and family. I buy one book for each person on my list at an independent bookstore, and then inscribe each one with a note expressing my appreciation for that person.

If you haven’t already, you might also consider transferring your funds from your “too big to fail” corporate bank to a local credit union. Good credit unions will use your money to support the local economy, instead of investing it in oil companies and arms manufacturers — Main Street, not Wall Street. I made the switch to a credit union four years ago after writing this manifesto, and I couldn’t be happier (peace, Wells Fargo!).

3. Eat sustainably. For all those meals with family and friends, consider buying local, organically-grown produce and free-range animal products. One of the deepest ways to invest in the wealth of your community is to support local farms that practice sustainable forms of agriculture. A recent report from the United Nations argued that local, sustainable agriculture is the best way to feed the world’s growing population, especially in the face of climate change and other pressures — and the movement starts with you!

The holidays are also an opportunity to revive your family’s culinary traditions. Last year, my daughter and I made Swedish meatballs from my grandfather’s recipe. What traditional foods could you share with your family this year?

4. Unplug. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, today’s children spend an average of seven hours per day staring at various kinds of screens, including TVs, computers, tablets, and phones. And according to a 2015 report by Nielsen, we adults spend more like 11. This holiday season, consider limiting your screen time — your kids’ and your own. It’s not that screens are evil or bad — it’s that when we’re looking at them, we’re not looking at each other. The holidays are perfect opportunities for what many individuals and families are calling a Digital Sabbath — a day of completely unplugging from texts, e-mails, TV, and all other electronic media. Taking a break from our screens can be surprisingly fun, especially if you use the time to take a hike, cook together, have a jam session, or dust off a board game from that closet in the hall.

5. Practice gratitude. Actively practicing gratitude is one of the most effective ways to increase your own level of happiness, and your happiness will surely affect those around you, as well. After writing this manifesto four years ago, I started a new tradition with my family: at Thanksgiving dinner, before we dig in, each person at the table shares one thing he or she is grateful for. It’s a simple practice, but it can be surprisingly moving. And for a family where there is a range of beliefs present, it’s a form of prayer that everyone can agree on.

6. Share love and appreciation. All too often, our gratitude, love, and appreciation for the people in our lives remains implicit. Try (either in person or in writing) telling your family and friends how much you value them, and even the specific things about them that you value the most. Also, remember that sometimes actions speak louder than words. What could you do to show your appreciation for someone special in your life?

7. Pause, and cultivate compassion. We humans are hardwired for compassion, an emotion which combines empathy for another person’s suffering with the desire to help alleviate it. So why is it that, especially in a time when the world seems absolutely drenched with suffering, it can be so hard for us, sometimes, to feel anything but fear and anger — or anything at all?

Many of us are overwhelmed by the stress of our busy, demanding lives. And when the media floods us with stories and images of suffering from all over the world, we feel helpless to do anything about it — helpless to help.

The first step in cultivating greater compassion may be for us to slow down enough to feel it. A second step may be to put a human face on the suffering around us — it’s easier for us to feel compassion for one person than for hundreds or thousands of people. With an individual, we can connect to her story, imagine what she has been through and what we would feel in her shoes. Finally, if we feel moved, we can choose small acts of kindness or generosity that will make the world just a little bit better.

Compassion is at the spiritual core of many of the traditions we celebrate at this time of year. This holiday season, let’s return it to its rightful place at the center of our lives.

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Over to You

What part of the Manifesto did you connect with the most? What would you add, subtract, or change in 2023? Let me know by replying to this email or leaving a comment on Substack. And if you resonate with the Slow Holidays approach, please share these ideas with your family and friends.

Thanks for reading,

Chris Cordry, LMFT

PS: If you’re serious about bringing more mindfulness to your work, your relationships, and your life in 2023, I have a couple of spots open for 1:1 coaching. Just reply to this email with “coaching” and we can set up a free 20-minute call to see whether it’s the right fit for you.

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