As of today, I’ve been caffeine-free for two weeks.
Why would I do such a thing to myself, especially as someone who loves tea and coffee?
Because I’m trying to reset my nervous system.
Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant. It blocks adenosine, a chemical that makes you sleepy, and increases the relsease of dopamine. It also stimulates your adrenal glands to release the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline (a.k.a. epinephrine) into your bloodstream.
Your sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear. Your heart rate increases. You’re ready for action—because your body is having a fight or flight reaction.
Our autonomic nervous system—the system that’s usually outside of our conscious control—is divided into two parts: sympathetic (sometimes summarized as “fight or flight”) and parasympathetic (“rest and digest”).
Caffeine shifts the balance in favor of the sympathetic nervous system. It makes you more energized, alert, focused, and in my case at least, hyperverbal (useful for writing!) but it can also make you anxious and jittery. (For people with anxiety disorders, caffeine can worsen anxiety and make panic attacks more likely.)
I wanted to reset my nervous system. To find out what my consciousness is like at baseline, without stimulants and after the withdrawals wear off, and to see if I could shift the balance toward being in my parasympathetic nervous system more of the time. In other words, to slow down.
So, how do I feel after 14 days without caffeine?
I feel less anxiety throughout the day, especially in situations that would previously have raised my heart rate, like dealing with difficult situations at work, or driving certain sections of the freeway in rush hour traffic. It’s almost like there was a subtle undertone of anxiety that’s just gone now, and I can only imagine that’s due to the absence of the stress hormones and elevated heartrate I would normally have from caffeine.
On the other hand, it’s been more difficult to motivate myself and focus on getting work done, especially paperwork or anything involving a computer. I feel spacy, almost dreamlike, a lot of time. Some of that could be long-term caffeine withdrawal—I’ve heard experts say that it can take up to three months to fully reset.
But it could also be what my consciousness was like before I started drinking coffee and tea on a daily basis, in college. As a kid, I was a dreamer, my head always in the clouds. I could get lost for hours reading fantasy novels or planning my next D&D campaign, but couldn’t for the life of me pay attention in math class.
Is this what I was like before caffeine?
As you can imagine, this raises some questions for me: Have I been using caffeine to self-medicate and adapt myself to the demands of school and work in a late capitalist knowledge work economy? Have I had undiagnosed ADHD my whole life? And if so, what (if anything) should I do about it?
For now, I’m planning on continuing my experiment through the end of the month. I think I love coffee and tea (and the culture around them, like hanging out at coffee shops) too much to give them up long-term. But so far, I also feel this reset has been valuable for me, a chance to slow down and experience a different mode of consciousness.
Quick shoutout to my friend Arman at
, who’s also taking this month off from caffeine.Quote of the Week
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
—Martin Luther King, Jr.
That’s all for this week! As always, I appreciate your feedback on Mindful Mondays. Reply to this email or leave a comment on Substack to let me know what you thought.
Thanks for reading, and happy Martin Luther King, Jr. day.
Chris Cordry, LMFT
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Oh, so agree with this. I drank a full POT of black tea in the morning at work. Turns out I had bad inflammation from stress, sugar and caffeine - but I was high functioning, kicking ASS at work - and when I had COVID or whatever last January, it burned through my system and set everything on fire. Extreme anxiety, panic attacks with related skyrocketing blood pressure. It's taken me a year to get it back to baseline. May I recommend my morning 'brew'? Dried lemon balm, dried chamomile blossoms, a few slices of ginger and three whole cloves. Steep for 15 minutes. I think it's even BETTER than a latte. ;)
Good luck with the remaining two weeks. Looking forward to reading how you feel after a month of no caffeine! (she says, very well caffeinated in the morning)