Mindful Mondays: Anniversary Edition
A year of writing, the meaning of Halloween, and how to be 10% more goth
A Year of Writing
Last Halloween, I published the first edition of Mindful Mondays. It may seem like an odd date to start a newsletter about mindfulness and personal growth, but what can I say… when the spirit moves you!
I’d wanted to start a newsletter for a long time. Last fall, taking Write of Passage finally gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to start writing weekly essays, and introduced me to Substack as a platform.
Since then, I’ve published consistently every week for a year, been featured in Tim Ferriss’s 5 Bullet Friday, and grown Mindful Mondays from zero to 645 subscribers. If you’re one of them, thank you for reading. I appreciate you.
The Meaning of Halloween
Halloween has always been a meaningful time for me. As a kid, I loved trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. We’d wait until after dark, dress up as ghosts and goblins, and run around ringing neighbors’ doorbells and filling our pillowcases with candy. It was like the normal rules of society were turned on their heads for that one night, and a good-natured anarchy reigned. What could be more fun?
I later learned that our English word ‘Halloween’ comes from All Hallow’s Eve, the night before All Hallows’ Day (a.k.a. All Saints’ Day), which is followed by All Souls’ Day in the Catholic liturgical calendar. For centuries, this time of the year has been one dedicated to honoring ancestors and the dead.
These Christian holidays have their origins in the ancient festival of Samhain, celebrated in Ireland, Scotland, and other Celtic countries. Midway between the autumn equinox and winter solstice, it was associated with the end of the harvest and considered the beginning of the dark time of the year.
It was thought that on this night, the portals to the otherworld would open, the aos sí (spirits or fairies) were about, and that the spirits of the dead would return to visit their homes. Many of our American Halloween customs were brought here by Irish and Scottish immigrants like my own ancestors.
Here in San Diego, many people celebrate the Mexican incarnation of this tradition, el Día de los Muertos, building beautiful ofrendas (altars) decorated with marigolds and sugar skulls to honor their ancestors.
Honoring the beloved dead has been a part of nearly every culture and spiritual tradition throughout history. How do you honor your ancestors, those who lived and died so that you might exist?
As a therapist, I’m keenly aware that not all of our ancestors were good people. But if you go far enough back in your family tree, we all have ancestors that were loving, wise, and courageous. As a mindfulness practice, I might suggest lighting a candle or leaving out a glass of water for them.
How to Be 10% More Goth
For a couple of years in high school, I was that kid who wore all black, listened to The Cure, and had undiagnosed depression. So although I don’t live a gothic lifestyle today, I feel qualified to offer a few tips. I also realize that most of my readers aren’t interested in becoming full-blown goths, even for Halloween. But I firmly believe that most people could benefit from being just 10% more goth.
Here’s how:
Wear black. The color black is associated with power, authority, mystery, and elegance, among other things. Priests and judges both wear black—as did Lou Reed and Johnny Cash. Experimenting with your wardrobe, you can use color psychology to change the way you feel and the way others perceive you.
Listen to sad music. I cringe every time I hear so-called mental health experts tell depressed people to listen to happy, upbeat music. I mean, if you want to, that’s fine—you do you. But a number of studies have examined the benefits of listening to beautiful, sad music. When we’re feeling sad, listening to sad music helps us feel a sense of empathy and regulate our emotions, partly by releasing prolactin, a hormone associated with crying that helps us balance grief with a sense of calm.
Memento mori. This ancient Latin phrase means to remember that you are mortal and will someday die. It’s the reason philosophers used to keep skulls on their desks or bookshelves. But memento mori isn’t about being morbid. As the contemporary Stoic author Ryan Holiday puts it,
“The idea that you’re going to die, and that life is short, is only depressing if you’re thinking about it wrong. If you’re thinking about it right, it should give you a sense of priority. It should even give you a sense of meaning. It should let you know what’s important and what you’re trying to do while you’re here on this planet.”
My friend Cory Wilks, Psy.D. wrote more about memento mori here.
A Couple of Halloween Recommendations
Dark and Gothic playlist on Spotify. A perfect soundtrack for a Halloween party.
The Northman. I finally watched this the other night. It’s a wonderfully dark and creepy movie, without being a horror film, exactly. Check it out if you liked Vikings on the History Channel or you listen to black metal. Thanks to Michael and John for the recommendation.
Happy Halloween, All Hallowstide, and Samhain. 🙏
Thanks for reading Mindful Mondays. As always, I appreciate your feedback. Please reply to this email or leave a comment on Substack to let me know what you thought of this week’s edition.
Chris Cordry, LMFT
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Loving this idea of being 10% more goth. Congratulations for a year, Chris! Here's to many more Mindful Mondays.
Congrats on one year of writing Chris! And cheers to many more!
Also a quick thank you is in order because thanks to you going viral in Tim's newsletter and me being one of your recommendations I got to ride your coat tails and gained about 50 subs after all the dust was settled :)