How I actually practice gratitude

2 ways to feel thankful every day

Photo by Lukasz Szmigiel on Unsplash

Here in the U.S., Thanksgiving week is upon us.

In the wake of Trump’s victory, it promises to be an uncomfortable holiday for many, with not only the country but many families as split as a roast turkey. But Thanksgiving isn’t just about uncomfortable family gatherings or historically problematic feasts—it’s also about gratitude.

Years ago, my family instituted a simple Thanksgiving ritual.

After our meal, we go around the table and each person shares one thing they’re grateful for. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s surprisingly impactful. Something about sharing gratitude with others makes it feel more real, with at least a few tears being shed each year.

Each year, I also see a wash of articles come out with suggestions about how to practice gratitude.

After all, the benefits of gratitude are well-established in the research literature: practicing gratitude helps improve sleep, alleviate anxiety and depression symptoms, improve relationships, and improve mood and overall life satisfaction.

The most common advice is to make gratitude lists or keep a gratitude journal, writing down, say, 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day.

I’ve done this myself, on and off for many years, and experienced benefits from it. One key to keep in mind, if you try this, is to come up with different things each day, not just write the same 3-5 things (“my family, my health” etc.) each day. It also helps to appreciate small things, like a good cup of coffee or a bird singing outside your window, because these things are likely to be present in your life even when you’re going through a hard time.

But in my experience, gratitude journaling gets stale after a while.

It starts to feel like a rote exercise. I can write things down in my journal without really feeling the gratitude. But lately, I’ve been trying a different approach.

Here are two ways of practicing gratitude that have been working for me, and that I’ve found more effective than gratitude lists:

Gratitude meditation

During my regular meditation, either at the start or end of my practice, I take a moment to breathe a sense of gratitude into my heart. I think of things I’m grateful for (my partner, our dog, our home, my family, the rain outside my window), taking the time to visualize each one. Visualizing seems to help me actually feel gratitude more strongly than writing.

Blessing your food

Before meals, I silently offer a simple prayer of thanks for my food and ask for it to be blessed.

While I do this, I take a moment to gaze at my food (whether it’s a delicious home-cooked meal or a slice of pizza), appreciating the beautiful colors, textures, and aromas, and reflecting on the tremendous abundance we enjoy in this area of life. Even when our finances are tight or other areas of life might be difficult, the sheer diversity of animal and plant beings that go into our meals is incredible. Our ancestors in past ages would have been hard-pressed to imagine such abundance, and the more I reflect on this abundance, the more amazed and grateful I feel for my food.

These two practices, taken daily, have been more effective for me than months or years of gratitude journaling.

If you decide to try them out, shoot me an email to let me know how it went, or join the discussion by leaving a comment on Substack. I’m always looking to test different practices to see what’s most effective for me and my clients.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Chris Cordry, LMFT

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